Saturday, September 17, 2011


Her cold blue eyes were looking at me, but she was looking straight through me. She wasn't here with us in this room. She was within her mind, like the first time I saw her.
It was a small room that we sat in, four walls, like most others. It had a door on each side, coloured green with rotting paint. The walls were also decaying, coloured paint flecks falling to the ground with the slightest brush or breeze. There were no other items in the room besides the two chairs we sat on. We sat facing each other under the dim centre light.
"Speak to me." I said, but she didn't listen to me. She continued watching but not watching me. "Please, Melissa, please just speak." I begged.
"Don't call me that." She snapped, her eyes suddenly focusing on me.
"But that's your name."
"My name is not Melissa." Even though her tone implied aggravation, I was taking her speaking as good and kept pushing for more.
"Then what is your name if it isn't Melissa?"
"I have no name. I don't deserve a name." Her eyes suddenly became unfocused again, as she sank into her dream world.
"Everyone deserves a name. Everything in fact." She didn't want to answer me again. "Why don't you think you deserve a name."
"I don't think, I just know." I wanted to continue, to search deeper. I thought I had made progress. But suddenly she stood up. "I have to leave."
"But why?" I asked, jumping up as well. I didn't want her to leave. I was afraid of what she might do if I left her.
"I need to go now." She turned to leave, but suddenly looked lost, undecided to which door she should take. "i need to leave. Let me leave." She directed her frustration to me, blaming me.
"Please don't leave. I want you to stay." She spun around to face me, her full attention focused on me.
"You can't save me. You're just another one of the boys who think they're in love with me. You think you can fix me and then we can be together and live happily ever after. But it just doesn't work that way. I'm broken and unfixable. So let me leave." I was stunned. All this time I've been trying to figure her out; trying to determine what was wrong with her. And yet in one go, she seems to have me figured out, just like that. Was I that easy to decipher?
"Wai, I-" I tried to give her some sort of answer, but my words were caught in my throat.
"No, don't. You don't need to explain yourself. I know you. I know your type. Just let me go. I don't want to be saved."
"'re drowning." With a sad look, she turned away from me.
"Maybe I want to drown." With those last words she took the first door she reached. I never saw that girl again.

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