Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Two Person Inner Monologue

Garage: Why are we here? This is my favorite room. Do you feel safe? No, the monsters haunt me here too. Where do you feel safe then? Nowhere. Why are we here? It’s my favorite room. Why is it your favorite room? Because of my piano. I’m isolated here in the cold, but at least I have my music. Can you play for me? No. Why not? My music is only to lull the monsters. They like my music. Do they talk to you when you play music? They sit next to me and listen. I feel their cold skin against mine. So you feel them? Yes. They don’t usually touch me, when they want to harm me, but when I’m playing music, I paralyze them, and they don’t care. But I don’t mind. So they don’t speak to you when your playing, do they ever speak to you? Yes, when I’m finished playing. They ask me to play again. They ask me to keep going with the beautiful music. They say that if I don’t keep playing, they’ll hurt me and my family, they’ll kill everyone if I don’t keep playing. But you stopped? No, I kept playing. I was too scared. He let me see him, only his eyes. His red eyes sat beside me and bore into me, and I know if I just stopped he’d kill me then and there. But if you hadn’t stopped, you wouldn’t be here with me. But I’m not here. I played for days straight. My fingers started to blister and bleed and I was so so tired, but he didn’t want me to stop. I cried and begged him to let me stop for a few moments at least, but he didn’t let me. He told me he loved my music too much. So why are you here then? Because I’m dead. I passed out eventually, hungry, thirsty, tired. He must have killed me for abandoning his music. No you didn’t die. We found you, unconscious on you piano. We took you to hospital and you are here now, alive and breathing. Your family is alright, no ghosts have hu- They’re not ghosts! Don’t call them that. They don’t like being called ghosts. They’re monsters. Okay, monsters. They haven’t hurt your family, and you’re alive. The monsters didn’t kill you. But they will. They’re just waiting until I’m alone. If anyone sees me die by their doing, people won’t think I’m crazy, people won’t think I’m making this up all in my head. But that’s what they want. They want me to seem insane to everyone else. They feed off that isolation. Do you think I’m crazy? No, I don’t think you’re crazy, but I don’t think there aren’t any ghosts here with us. Monsters! Yes, monsters. I don’t think there are any monsters here in this room. That’s because there’s not. They’re hiding. They’re scared of you. That’s why I wanted you to help me. But you didn’t choose me to help you, I was assigned by the hospital. But I willed you to be assigned to me. Don’t you understand? I need your help! You are the only one who can save me. How can I save you? I don’t know, but I know that you can help. The monsters have run away and I am safe now. If you are safe, will you play me some music? No. Why not? Because the monsters will come, whether or not you are here, just to listen to the music. Can I not fight them away? I don’t know, I just know that they don’t like you. Play for me, and I will keep you safe from the monsters. No, I don’t want to play. Please play for me. No! I don’t want to! Stop asking me. I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to upset you. The monsters understand me though. How so? They know what terrifies me. They don’t haunt me by just making noises in the night. They show me worlds that feel like dreams, but hurt me more than reality. How do they scare you? They drag me down into a world that at first is beautiful and happy, but then things change, I don’t know how, but it’s like a dark cloud covers the sun and this beautiful world becomes a sick, perverted world where I am just their plaything. But theses are only dreams. You can overcome them, I can help you. But these aren’t just dreams! They’re worse than dreams. They’re visions, and they attack me at anytime, anytime I’m alone, or in front of dozens of people, so the monsters can watch and laugh as I scream in terror for no apparent reason. Will you bring the monsters here so I can speak to them? They won’t speak to you. They don’t like you. Please. Play your music, so I can help you. They will hurt you. They will kill you. You have to listen to me, there are no monsters. Theses monsters are in you mind. They can’t hurt me. Please don’t make me play. I don’t want them to come back. But this is the only way I can help you. No! Please play! No! How do you expect me to help you if you are going to be so stubborn? You can’t help me, no one can help me. I can help you. You just said I could help you. They speak to me, they told me about you. They told me that they are scared of you, but if I bring them here, they will do anything they can do get rid of you. They’ve told me that they will rip you to pieces. They will tear each inch of flesh from your bone while you’re still screaming. They will do everything in their power to destroy you and I will be blamed. No one is going to kill me, you will not get blamed. You need to calm down and let me prove to you that there are no ghosts. MONSTERS! There are no monsters! Get out if you don’t believe me. Leave me alone if you’re not going to trust me. You think I’m crazy, just like everyone else. No one can save me. No one can save you if you are not willing to let them. We will have to work on this back in my office. I will arrange another meeting next week. I won’t be here next week. Where will you be then? I’ll be dead, and so will you. You will eventually believe me but by then it will be too late. No one is going to die. Yes we will. Our bones in lie in the earth side-by-side, stripped of flesh and life and the monsters will live on our fear long after they’ve stolen our lives. Who tells you these things? The monsters tell me the truth. They tell me things that I don’t want to hear; whisper to me in my sleep about their plans to kill me.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

There is beauty in a large endless field, with no buildings breaking up the sheets of green merging with the crystal blue sky. They are isolated from great human expositor, but not so forgotten to let nature take back what once it owned. The grass is clipped, and the animals graze, but the trees run wild, stretching their limbs to the heavens like a waking giant.

There’s a point between normality and happiness, and the explosion within the mind that is insanity. It is one moment in an innocent day, where you can feel yourself going mad, those points where you know you should feel calm and happy, but all your insides are screaming in agony to fall apart and let themselves decay with the precious earth it grew from. And you are not certain for what reason they want to give up. Your mind just doesn’t want to try anymore. Inside you are dead.
I am dead, mentally; ready to give up my body to the demons that haunt me in the night, the ones that live under my bed. They are my friends. They understand me, because they know what terrifies me. They are prepared to take my soul when I let them, saving me from the real word that rejects me and my words that were so innocent and precious to me once.

There’s a music that sparks an anger within me. It is music that is on the brink of perfection, igniting in me an idea, a world so pure and perfect. But I still wait on the other side of an opaque window, not being able to touch my creation, but watch it vaguely. It drives me insane! To have something so close an it is so agonizing to not be able to put this unspoiled world into words, to share and admire. To be able to see it as real. It can never be done.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Stolen in the passion of night; time, money, love, life. Blood runs through to the fingertips that touch skin and pass through from soul to soul that hunts in the darkest hours, adopting the shadows like a god. Faces concealed and identity lost in the masses, they won’t be the same when the daylight strikes. Who will I be as the hours pass, cunning eyes searching the crowds for my next victim. My heavy eyes hung for him, waiting for my chance to strike. His lips curl at my sight, the skin of the lips thin, blood coursing a palpitating below, waiting to be touched. Come with me, I call, the darkness enveloping his soul within my fingers. Don’t worry about safety honey, we’ve only got tonight to wander through the unseen and find ourselves in the unknown. Follow me when I leave, lets run away from these people who only know our names. We’ve got death in common, lets abuse it. The goodnights of the soulless bodies drone our departure. I want to be hidden again, his hand in my hand, wrapped in the warmth, searching out for something more. The body is physical and real, but the mind can never been truly realised. It isn’t held like your hand in mine, would you believe me if I said that my mind has long gone with the disease. I live on air alone and desire to drag along your company, a heavy rock to hold me down to this earth. I will take you along for the ride, just close your eyes and hold your breath; it’ll all be over in a minute. Don’t think, just do, you won’t regret it. Kiss me, touch me, consume me while the darkness prevails, it’s retreating quickly. Tomorrow they will find us and the nightmares with return, don’t let the passion burn out. You’ll be mine forever, your blood on my tongue; my heart is your hands. Don’t let me go. Don’t let me go.