I don't like where I am. It scares me. Every face I see; it's dark and soulless, empty eyes staring back at me. I try to escape, but it's impossible. I made a deal with the devil, and I have to accept that. Clawing at the walls of my mind, trying to find a tear or a rip is pointless. All I asked for was a good and long life with my family. Was that so much to ask? And in return all he wanted was for me to live within my mind. How hard could that be right? In my mind my world was my own; I could control everything. But I was sorely wrong. The fears and the nightmares that I had tried so hard to lock away at the back of my mind have found their escape. They terrorise the perfect world my mind has come so accustomed to. It was a beautiful, peaceful world. But that now is shattered. The ghosts of my past come back to haunt me, and though I no longer live and walk in the world, they still hurt me, reminding me of the horrible things I did while I was awake and walked the Earth.
I look upon what I have left behind. I see family, beautiful children, mourning for their loss. Oh if they only knew of the pain I had caused in my life, of the horror I had created. I guess I had it coming.
The blood shed by the men I once knew, but the men I trusted was done by my command. I am truly sorry for what I have done, but I couldn't change it even if I had the chance. There was no other way, right? What's done is done. These people's lives have shattered in my hands like glass, and I do not regret my choices. It is my people that I must protect at all times, and if that means living in hell for all eternity, then I must do what I have to do. Again, I am sorry.